Roxanne...

"Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light." Well we all know who sang those famous words, and now after a weekend trip to Amsterdam, I understand who Sting was singing about.

Viv had to go to Amsterdam for work, so we made a weekend of it and packed up our bags. Just a 45 minute flight from London, and a cab ride into the heart of the city. Our hotel was amazing! It was almost as large as our flat in London. It had two bedrooms, one of which was a loft over looking the living room. The living room had a small kitchen and a 50" flatscreeen TV. But the best part of the room was the view. We were on the 6th floor, and when you pulled back the curtains, you could open a large double window and look over the canal and the street. (and there was no screen, so it made me a little nervous, I could have easily fallen out the window) The view was lovely and and city was beautiful with the buildings and bridges all light up in the night. The next morning, V iv went off to his business meetings and I met my cousin...

How weird, my cousin was in Amsterdam. She lives in Atlanta and was visiting Paris and decided to hop on over to Amsterdam the same weekend Viv and I were visiting. I met her and her French friend at a cafe were we sat and caught up on the family drama. After lunch we met Viv back at the hotel and the four of us took a stroll over to the Heineken Experience. This was the perfect way to start our Amsterdam trip. Heineken IS the beer, or as they spell it, bier, of Amsterdam. Heineken stopped brewing her in 1988, but keeps the building open for flashy tours. The Heineken Experience was nothing more then their marketing department bombarding us with the Heineken trademark, the slogan and of course, the smiling E's...but there was a light at the end of the tour...free beer! You see, Dutch social life is all about drinking. The cafe's, as they call them, offer oodles and oodles of beer choices, always having Heinekin on the menu. After getting our buzz on, I had the courage to ask my cousin about the Red Light District. Viv and I didn't really know what the deal was about this area, I mean of course, I knew they did, well, illegal things, but didn't know if it was, well, a tourist stop? Sure enough, she had been there the evening before and gave me a heads up about what goes on and what to expect in this area of town...I knew I was going to need a few more drinks after her description! Then she came up with a brilliant plan: because I was so nervous, I was to visit during the day because there wasn't a whole lot of "business" going on...so that's what we did...the four of us walked to the Red Light District.

So we walked, and as we walked, I chewed all my nails down to the bone...they kept laughing at me because I was VERY unsure that I wanted to visit this notorious area. And let me tell you this, as we walked, I KNEW we had arrived, no one needed to announce what part of town we had stumbled upon, you just KNOW.

And how did I KNOW????...Well, for starters, the smell. As you walk along these tight brick sidewalks, you all of a sudden get a whiff of something, then you look, and there is a "coffee shop," and no people the shops don't smell like "coffee." How jacked up that 'they' call them coffee shops?! Poor Starbucks (by the way, we never saw a Starbucks in the entire city, only at the airport, where 2 grande lattes cost 9euro, which is $17.00!!!) Anywho, I knew that they were NOT serving coffee at these shops. No,Viv and I did not go into any coffee shops...I know, I know, I should have just gone IN..When in Rome...but seriously people, I was super scared. You should have seen the people in these shops, they looked all weird and creepy, while I looked like a very stylish tourist...ok, so maybe they didn't look weird, maybe I'm over exaggerating and my imagination has gotten the best of me, but I wasn't about to walk into a "coffee shop" and have my Tori Burch sweater smell like weed, um gross! And hello, I heard a rummer that just smelling that stuff makes you all loopy...I'm loopy enough with just one glass of wine, imagine, I don't think so! Anywho...as we continued our journey around the District, there were also shops that sold "Seeds." Yep, you guessed it, were not talking Marigold seeds, were talking pot plant seeds, what do they call it...yes, Merawanna, Cannabis (no idea how to spell it? Those are the same things, right?)

So after my eyes widened at the coffee and seed shops, my jaw then hit the ground...Ok, so I'm not going to go into that much detail, use your imagination, this is a family blog...but I think I was more shocked then anything, not really grossed out. You are walking and you look to the right, and there is this women in a "bikini" looking at you through a doorway/window. Eye contact I was not about to make...There were so many women, and some were better looking then others; some old, some young, some fat, some skinny, some maybe men? Anyway, the "District" was surprisingly large, and thank goodness, there were tons of tourist all over the place, some even pushing kids in strollers..NO JOKE! After a few blocks, I was able to pull my jaw off the ground, and was, well, use to it?...It was just crazy, and LEGAL...well, if that's what puts dinner on the table, then so be it, who am I to judge?!

Once I conquered my fear of the "District" I was all good. My cousin and her French friend had to call it a night and head back to Paris. Viv and I made our way back to the area of our hotel and had a lovely dinner al' fresco then we called it a night.

I was not prepared for Saturday, I don't think either of us were. What I'm referring too is Gay Pride. That's right, we had managed to book a weekend in Amsterdam the same weekend the Gay Pride parade was taking place. Now I have seen EVERYTHING! We walked onto the streets of Amsterdam to see people everywhere, all in town to celebrate Gay Pride '09. It was pretty amazing, the canals were full of groups of people on their boats pre-partying. Large boats, small boats, house boats, row boats, you name it they were full with people. The larger boats had huge stereo systems on them, were talking speakers the size of a suitcase and 2-6 on each boat...and then they had DJ's spinning live on the boats as they pre-partied. I've never seen anything like it before. Viv and I found a spot on the canal to watch the parade. It was great, the boats were all decorated like floats. There were different themes on the boat/floats, and you bet there was a whole lot of drag going on. I've never seen such elaborate costumes in my life.

After a while of watching float after float, my back and feet started to hurt, and I had drank enough warm wine and needed to grab a bite.

Viv and I headed off to lunch and then made our way across town to the Van Gogh Museum, a spot that I really wanted to visit. The museum has the worlds largest collection of works by Vincent van Gogh: it houses more then 200 paintings, including many very famous masterpieces like 'self-portrait' from 1887, 'Sunflowers,' 'Wheatland with Crows' Viv's favorite, 'The bedroom' and many, many more. The museum did a really good job of educating us about Van Gogh and broke up all his art work by year and location he painted his masterpieces. They focus a lot on his contemporaries and his influence on other artist, as well as talk about what influenced him. I highly recommend this museum should any of you be visiting the Netherlands. I didn't pay the extra euro's for the audio tour, and kind of regret it. The museum also has an extensive collection of works of art by other 19th century painters and sculptors. And they have this great exhibit questioning the authenticity of a few Van Gogh pieces and teach you how they determined the authenticity of these pieces using technology..pretty amazing stuff!

So after we knew way too much about this Epileptic artist who is known for cutting off his own ear, we wondered around the canals as the Gay Pride parade concluded. Our feet and backs were hurting, so what better way to rest, then to find a near by Cafe. We sat and sat and drank and drank...we drank until it was dark and dinner time was upon us. When we were walking to the cafe, we saw this cute Italian restaurant, and so after our cafe visit, we decided to head back to the Italian restaurants direction. We quickly found a table outside. All the tables were packed, inside the restaurant and outside. We felt lucky to have found a table. Now, anyone can tell you that European service sucks, but, Viv and I must have sat at that table for 20minutes before 1 of the 2 waiters in the whole joint even approached us, and they only approached us after we had to flag them down. We ordered, and we ordered a lot...we were hungry! A beer for Viv, wine for me, a bottle of Pellegrino for the table, an appetizer of fresh bread with olive tapenade, then Lasagna for Viv and I had the waiters recommendation, prawn and scallop homemade ravioli with a sage butter sauce. The meal, surprisingly, came fast and we chowed down. The food was SO good! Really, the first Italian, besides pizza, that I had eaten in a month. After staring at our empty plates for what seemed like hours, we again, had to flag a Waiter down and ask to take the plates away. We sat and sat at our table, like another 20minutes, until our original waiter came out and asked us if we had even received out food. Um, Hello dude, way to be a great server, YES we had gotten our food, and yes we had eaten it, and yes, we do want dessert. I ordered profiteroles and Viv had a cannoli. Ok, so here is were the fun begins. So, obviously, the service at this restaurant was not fast, nor even slow..it was CRAWLING! And I Viv and I knew were weren't the only ones getting bad/no service. Two tables had sat down and after a while just got up and left. Viv and I were so annoyed, and Viv went inside the restaurant on THREE occasions trying to look for someone to pay so we could leave the joint. After waiting and waiting for 45 minutes (NO JOKE) we just left! That's right.....we didn't pay for dinner! HELLO, we SO tried of waiting and waiting! They just didn't care about us paying them...we did feel bad, we liked the food and would have liked to go back to the restaurant some day, but not after we skipped out on the meal. We quickly but not so quickly walked away from the table, and then when i looked back, i saw the table next to us, who were also waiting for their cheek just as long, if not longer, took our lead and just left without paying as well. So, that was a first for me and Viv, and hopefully we won't make a habit of it...ha ha.

We walked back to the hotel, laughing and feeling a little paranoid. Then we called it a night.

Sunday rolled around before we knew it, and we woke up to a rainy, cold day. We had originally planned to wake up early and take a canal tour of the city before we had to take off for the airport. But seeing the weather, we both decided to forget about the canal tour and watch MTV instead. One of my favorite programs was on, Paris Hiltons New BFF...I haven't seen MTV in a month, I was excited and Viv got easily hooked into the program. After a few episodes of Ms. Hilton, we packed up our bags and headed for the airport. Back to London life we went.

So overall Amsterdam was an eye opener. I enjoyed the area we stayed in, it was beautiful and the Dutch food and shops were fun and interesting. The center of the city seemed dirty, crowded and just not my cup of tea. I think that if you are in the area you should visit Amsterdam, but keep in mind, there isn't a whole lot to do. 2 days is really all you need for this city.I certainly would not recommend flying from the States just to see Amsterdam, unless you are a super freak that enjoys feeling loopy...Its a stamp in my passport and I certainly came home with a few stories.

Tot Ziens Amsterdam

Hallo Dubai!!

Pictures, left to right:

1.My cousin and Viv at the Heineken Brewery

2.Canals cover the city, you get around by Vespa, Bike or Canal. The streets are so tight its hard to get a car through them.

3.Down the street from our hotel, so pictures.

4. Jaw dropping Red Light District

5.Free Beer at the Heineken Experience.

6.Gay Pride '09. Holy people everywhere!

7.Van Gogh 'Self-portrait' from 1887.